What would you want to do if you only had five years to live?
When Sharon T. came over to help with organizing my condo, I told her the basics of what's going on. And she said, " I don't know if I'd be going back to work if I had such a short time left.... I'd go backpacking, I'd knock things off my bucket list, I'd...." and she gave a dozen really good suggestions.
I don't know how long I have. My oncologist is wise to not give a time period. If the treatment is successful, if the tumors are smaller, well, even then she's smart to not give a time period.
Closer to time, maybe. My mother and aunt took care of my grandmother when she was dying. They knew when the time was near. They knew that the diagnosis was a death sentence. My grandmother was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in 2007, and passed away that same year. She died in the house my grandfather built for her, surrounded by her family. She had time to say what she wanted to say, to make peace, with family members. She healed many by telling them what they genuinely needed to hear.
No details, but my family moved 2.5 hours away when I was 9. Grandma said the perfect thing to make me feel as loved as the many cousins who were in her house daily throughout their school years. I suppose they may have been jealous because my family moved to the "Big City." I know that was true on my father's side of the family.
Yesterday I called out of work due to a fever, I don't have much of an immune system, and it will be getting worse. I'm going in today. I can pretend it is normal, but it isn't. Yesterday I slept a lot, finished some small projects, and basically felt useless. I felt like I was playing hooky...but was panting after doing a small load of laundry.
If I only have five years to live, I don't want to squander time at work. I love my work... I love the people. But if my time is short, I'd rather be knitting, exercising and reading. And sadly, that may be all I can do.
I don't know how long I have. My oncologist is wise to not give a time period. If the treatment is successful, if the tumors are smaller, well, even then she's smart to not give a time period.
Closer to time, maybe. My mother and aunt took care of my grandmother when she was dying. They knew when the time was near. They knew that the diagnosis was a death sentence. My grandmother was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in 2007, and passed away that same year. She died in the house my grandfather built for her, surrounded by her family. She had time to say what she wanted to say, to make peace, with family members. She healed many by telling them what they genuinely needed to hear.
No details, but my family moved 2.5 hours away when I was 9. Grandma said the perfect thing to make me feel as loved as the many cousins who were in her house daily throughout their school years. I suppose they may have been jealous because my family moved to the "Big City." I know that was true on my father's side of the family.
Yesterday I called out of work due to a fever, I don't have much of an immune system, and it will be getting worse. I'm going in today. I can pretend it is normal, but it isn't. Yesterday I slept a lot, finished some small projects, and basically felt useless. I felt like I was playing hooky...but was panting after doing a small load of laundry.
If I only have five years to live, I don't want to squander time at work. I love my work... I love the people. But if my time is short, I'd rather be knitting, exercising and reading. And sadly, that may be all I can do.
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