I just can't stop crying this morning.

It's a bit of everything.. My phone failed, and had to be replaced. I went to Family Dollar (I wanted a cheap replacement), and was, I guess, invisible. No one looked at me, no one acknowledged that I needed help, I tried to get the attention of two different employees who were dashing around. After five minutes I left. Ended up at Target, Roommate teasingly harassed me about going to Target after I wanted to go to Dollar General. How do I explain that I don't normally need his permission or help to go ANYWHERE? but I can't drive right now.

Plus my damn Jackson-Pratt drain popped open twice while I was out. I changed the way it was pinned to my clothing... apparently it was rubbing the top against something... Ick.... wet running down my leg.

Just frustrated. Holidays coming. It's been 11 months since diagnosis. Next month is the 10 year anniversary of my sister and great aunt's death. Which means Dad's death is 10 years in May.

And this is how feeling spiral out of control... I'm looking at everything that has happened in the past ten years, and feeling quite inadequate. The house is a mess... I can only lift five pounds... The laundry is stacked on top of the dresser so I don't have to open the damn drawer three times for three different underwear items (bra, panties and socks).

So nothing is making me happy. I'm hungry (and distracted. I just walked into the kitchen to make oatmeal, washed the mug to make oatmeal, and then walked out of the kitchen.... without making oatmeal.) I need to eat, hydrate, and find something fun to pass the day. Maybe finishing the Holiday cards will help.

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