Two days, two friends, two reactions. (Part 2)

Before I met with my friend M, I made an outline of how to break this news.  It seems that the people I'm telling are having a worse time than I am.  They are convinced I'll beat this and cancer is a chronic condition.  Maybe I will. 

My outline for telling friends is basically:

• It's going to be okay.
• Surgery/path report
• currently waiting for more info
• I'll know more on Monday.
• I don't know what I might need in the future, but can I call you if I need something?

Yesterday I told my friend M about the LMS.  We had a wonderful dinner at a nearby Greek restaurant. (Acropolis, Bruce B Downs Blvd, Tampa, if you're curious).  She commented on how good I look (I've lost about 15#, somewhat intentionally) then asked how I was doing.  I dodged that question.  We talked about her new job, her relationships, board games she's played, a visit with her mother... Good conversation. 

After the entrées arrived, the conversation lagged, and I told her.  By the way, timing is everything... At this Greek restaurant, the waitresses do a dance around the bar every so often...  As I was saying I had LMS, the music volume increased, and the waitresses started the dance <<<Youtube vid of Acropolis waiters dancing ... not last night... but just like this... including the napkins..>>>>

So we stopped talking and watched...Afterward, M looked at me and said, "You didn't expect dance to break out when you said you had cancer."  Part of the reason M is my friend, is that she understands my strange sense of humor.  Of course when I break out bad news, I'm reminded of dancing, and life and joy and Zorba the Greek.  After the dancing, we talked about the hysterectomy, chemo and this blog.  She's available for when I don't want anyone around, but need someone around.  She understands that I'm introvert, and like my quiet time. 

We went through the list of who knows... It's a short list.  And that's the list of who knows it's cancer, not the list of who knows this is "rare and aggressive" cancer. (I'm letting most have the happier possibility that it's not that bad.)

I have not yet told my daughter or mother.  I'm waiting until Monday when I find out more about the chemo schedule, and CT results.  Bad news can wait.  (Oh, and I need to tell my mother that the guy I was dating, that she disliked so much... ummmm... he's now living with me.)

Lessons from last night.  Be gentle telling people, only tell the basics, keep a list of who is willing to help.  And with old friends with a strange, snarky view of the world.. you can discuss the funeral (which I didn't plan on a funeral/memorial service or whatever...Last night I was told that I would have one whether I wanted one or not... and it's for the friends/family, not for me to decide...)